So I spent most of my run today thinking of all the twitter reaction to this blog post (http://jenlc13.wordpress.com/2014/08/22/hockey-twitter-social-change-2/) and while most of what’s worth being said about it has already been said, I just have a thought for all the people using it to prop up the idea that ladies need to calm down and explain things rationally or else they’re damaging the discourse.Maybe it’s worth considering why the women you’re trying to talk to are reacting with emotion rather than the calm, rational debate/explanation you want?
I completely agree with the idea that screaming someone down is not particularly persuasive, but can you be rational and try to figure out why that’s the reaction you’re getting instead of getting pouty and defensive? Unless you’re of the belief that women are particularly emotionally unstable, there’s got to be a reason that a lot of women are expressing frustration or anger at your confusion or “harmless” questions. Maybe, it’s because sexual harrassment is a very real and hurtful experience for some women? Maybe the women you’re talking to have had to slog through calming themselves down to have discussions with concern trolls, devil’s advocates, and general assholes only to realize that they’ve wasted hours of time and emotional energy on people who don’t give a fuck, and you sound just like those other dudes? Maybe you’re actually derailing the conversation?
So if you’re a well meaning dude, try to give that a moment’s thought before you go talking about the culture of outrage or damaging the discourse. Your defensive reaction isn’t particularly helpful or kind either.